Mean Girls and Streakers at the Playground

Lucy, Josh and I are regulars at the playground. We have playgrounds that we frequent and know lots of the kids and parents who hang out there. Lucy has her regular playground friends that she plays with, snacks with and yucks it up with. The boundaries of play are pretty well established. Recently, Lucy was wanted to mix it up a bit so we've been exploring new playgrounds. She has taken a shine to one near our old apartment. Lucy calls it the Belmont playground. With a new playground comes new kids and new lessons to be learned.

Just recently we arrived at the playground on a beautiful day that felt more like summer than fall. Soccer practice was buzzing on the fields beside the playground and kids and parents were everywhere. As a mom you survey the landscape and the people in the playground like the secret service scans the perimeter surrounding the President. It was a pretty run-of-the-mill crew and then I spotted a mom with a big old wreath of flowers in her hair. Our neighborhood is pretty diverse so it only makes sense that hippies are part of the melting pot. Then I spotted her freebooting little guy on the monkey bars. He was probably three or four and was completely nekid except for a long sleeve shirt. Now I'm not quite sure what happened to cause the boy to lose his pants. Who knows, lots of things happens to clothing, so a half naked preschooler isn't that uncommon. Slightly awkward, but to each his own. Moon Blossom the Mom seemed fine with it so whatever. But the poor boy kept trying to go down the slide - without pants. I mean this was just painful to watch, and listen to. Lucy was oblivious, happily going down the slide next to him, whizzing by him as he squeaked along. It was just wrong - it seemed too painful. I think I will do my best to enforce a pants on the slide rule with my children, that is reasonable isn't it?

Lucy made a friend at the Belmont playground. She and another girl who was slightly older than Lucy bonded over trying to climb up the slide and then falling back down and laughing their heads off. This repeated over and over and on her way by Lucy skipped by with a big grin on her face telling me she made a new friend. She bopped around, following the girl as happy as could be - she was in her glory. Lucy's new friend and her sister who was younger than Lucy began to play a game that involved placing wood chips on a little shelf. Lucy abuzz with happiness joined right in and I could see her new friend's interest in Lucy was gone. The two girls went about their business and told Lucy she couldn't put her woodchips on the counter. She tried a few times not really getting it, and then walked away with a big handful and a confused little smile not quite knowing what to do with the woodchips. She put them on the end of the slide and went back over.

Now, as a parent I do my best to let certain situations iron themselves out. If everyone is safe and it is a matter of figuring out whose turn it is or a minor scuffle I think kids have to learn to work it out on their own. If the situation starts getting dangerous or out of control I will intervene. I have yelled at a lot of kids, big and small who have crossed the line. Lots of mothers are absolutely clueless and let their kids run wild. Anyway, I could see that Lucy's new friend and her sister did not want Lucy involved in their game any longer and she didn't get the message until they finally yelled, "go away." They ganged up on her and it was two against one. It wasn't my place to yell at the girls, I couldn't force kids to play with my child. Lucy came over, big sad eyes and her voice cracking with tears she said, "my friend is not being nice." My heart broke, it was Lucy's first encounter with mean girls and most certainly would not be the last. I gave her a hug and the mother of the other girls asked what happened and I told her. On her own accord the mother went over to scold the girls and tell them to apologize to Lucy. They did, but the damage was done and all Lucy wanted to do was go home.

The streaker was kind of funny, the mean girls were not. All I could think about is how as Lucy gets older I won't be able to protect her from all of the things girls today have to face. Not that boys don't have to face hardships, but girls can really be cruel. Body image, self-esteem, boys. On the way home she asked me why she was so sad. I explained as well as I could that her feelings were hurt and sometimes it made you cry and you didn't know why. I wish I could freeze her at this age, where she is so happy and the world is hers to explore. When a brush with mean girls can quickly be remedied by going to a different playground and playing squish the watermelon on the slide. But I guess that wouldn't be fair to her.