I love you relish...

Lucy was eating her dinner recently and grabbed the jar of relish and hugged it and said, "I love you relish." Lucy is a pretty adventurous eater with a taste for dipping. At nine months old Lucy boycotted her baby food and she never looked back. She likes sushi, especially the flying fish roe and seaweed salad. She carefully looks at the condiment shelves on the fridge door and chooses her "dippy" like a wine connoisseur choosing a rare vintage. We recently made a collage and cut out a picture from a salad dressing advertisement. It top billing, right between Murray Wiggle and a picture of an owl. We have to look at all the different dressings in the picture and name them. Pretty funny huh.

Lucy has her moments. Vegetables are not really her favorites these days and over her little lifetime she has tossed quite a few plates full of perfectly good food. She has a savory little palate. We were recently at Babu and Dedu's (Michael's Mom and Dad) and for dessert were having delicious chocolate fondue with fruit and cookies for dipping. Lucy didn't want any part of it. "I want salty fish," she declared. Salty fish was herring in a jar. I have been with Michael for almost fifteen years now and I have worked my way up to eating a piece or two of salty fish every now and then. Lucy loves it. There are other scary looking fish that come from tins that she eats with gusto. It's crazy!

So my little nut hugs her relish and loves a variety of pickled fish. It is what makes Lucy, Lucy.

Roley Poley Josh

When Lucy was a baby I read the books and eagerly looked for each milestone. The book said things like, "baby should be able to focus on a small object like a raisin." Then I'd proceed to wave a raisin back in forth in front of my baby girl. Okay, not quite that manic - but pretty close. Lucy was not the most mobile baby. She rolled over twice as an infant - yep, count them, one - two. She never crawled and when she learned to walk at almost exactly a year, you had to stand her up and she'd take off. If she fell, she went down like a redwood and couldn't get walking again until she was stood up. I had always heard that boys were quicker with motor skills - and now with Josh and I already see the difference.

About a week ago Josh was on the floor in Lucy's room waiting for me to make him a bottle. His was quite irritated with having to wait so he was making quite a ruckus. When I went back he had rolled over. He's already a little squirmy dude when changing his diaper - craning his little neck to see what is behind him. Now when you put him on the floor he rocks back-and-forth until he is on his tummy. And now he can roll from his tummy to his back. Josh is a big guy, he is no waif - at four months I think he is around seventeen or eighteen pounds. When he rolls he has to work up some momentum and then he throws his chunky little leg over to serve as the anchor for his new position. Then he rolls. This is only the beginning.

With Lucy never really crawling or being an adventurous climber (until recently) I had it easy. I had friends that had little boys who climbed on everything and were opening drawers by the time they were nine months old. I'm not waving tiny little things in front of Josh like a total lunatic. I read the book to see what the developmental milestones are, but I don't hang on every page like I did with Lucy. He hangs out with us, smiles and talks and now is figuring out how fast he can get moving. He laughs his little head off at this goofy flower rattle that has a big smiley face. It cracks him up, he thinks it is hysterical. It will be interesting to see how his skills develop. I have a feeling that he's going to give me a run for my money!

Freebird!!!!

Lucy has always had a strong personality. From the terms by which she decided to come into this world, to how she asserts herself as a toddler. Lucy has developed into this funny and quirky littler person who totally cracks me up on a regular basis. She is such a chatterbox these days. I think it was sometime around twenty-two months or so she just exploded with conversation. We would drive along and chat and I would forget just how little my Lucy was. She absorbs quickly and parrots back everything. I relented and now have censored her music for the most part simply because I don't want her singing "Golddigger" at playgroup.

Lucy has adopted all of these new funny sayings. Some of them are of course strategically modeled and ingrained into her personality. She is a very polite little girl, saying her please and thanks you's when required. If you sneeze she will say "god bless you," and when she burps she says "excuse me." These are things that we have consciously taught her. There are also a number of things which over the course of time she has seen or heard us saying and has become quite fond of integrating into her repoirtoire. The more reaction she gets, the more she does it and so on and so on. Now when she farts, she laughs and says, "there is a duck in my butt." I probably should correct this because it is not very ladylike behavior, but it cracks us up and she is only saying it because it is what we taught her. She will also on occasion, when caught up in listening to music, pump her tiny little fist into the air and intermittently yell, "rock and roll" and "freebird". Again, all us - but she was the one who took it and ran with it. It is hysterical when we are driving to look at her in her carseat, fist up yelling "freebird" as we cruise around Watertown. It makes me proud.

So far this week she has worked "holy moley" into a lot of her chatter. Now she tells knock, knock jokes that don't make any sense at all and she tells me she smells like a beehive which I don't know what it means or where she got it. Everyday there is some new saying or word that seemingly comes out of left field. For a while after Josh was born she would say, "can you do me a favor," because I was always asking her to do me a favor like get Josh's binky or bottle. However, she would use her,"can you do me a favor," line to ask for outrageous things like a drinkbox while she was in her crib ready to sleep.

The development of her language skills are fascinating. To tracking her correct usage of pronouns and verb tense to hearing the funny little sayings she comes up with. There are some things she says now which cannot be described as anything other than Lucy, like Lucy is an adjective. Like when she looks at me with sunglasses on and tells me, "Mom, you look like a movie star." It is just so Lucy and I love it!

Confession

I put mousse in Lucy's hair. I just needed something to tame the curls.

Lucy's First Day of "School"

Before Lucy was born I had originally planned on returning to my job as a seventh-grade English teacher. I had looked at one daycare before she was born. After she was born I continued my search. The summer went by and time was running out. I looked at home daycares, big daycare centers and also explored the possibility of a nanny. There was a big center that seemed okay, but it was in the almost windowless basement of the old arsenal - and it was around $1,600 a month. More than half my salary would be gone. There was a home daycare blocks away from us and on my visit the woman showed me "the viewing animals" for the kids. Okay, snakes and lizards were not exactly what I was seeking for the care of my twelve-week old infant. Then there was the "musical nanny" who brought her flute to the interview. When I asked her how she would calm Lucy during one of her colicky, endless crying jags, she said she'd play the flute. Right.

It wasn't that I had always dreamed of being a stay-at-home Mom. I loved my new teaching career. I just couldn't trust anyone to take care of her, not yet. So MIchael and I decided that the best decision for everyone would be for me to stay home. Of course this meant that buying a house would be put on hold, but for the price of being the one to take care of the goose I was willing to pay. The first year of Lucy's life passed, sleep was still a thing of the distant past. Eventually around the time Lucy was around six or seven months old her refulx induced colic seemed to be subsiding and we could leave the house without her screaming her head off the whole time. It was hard being home, Lucy was so used to me being with her all the time she didn't take well to not being right by my side. There were days when I wondered if she would have been better off in daycare. Would she be less clingy and more independent? There were days when I wanted to pour my coffee in a mug to go and head off to work just like Michael.

The next school year approached and I was thinking of going back to work. Lucy was fifteen months old and enjoyed being around other kids. I looked around at daycares again. On one tour I saw a little girl at the playground standing at the gate crying and crying and just saying, "Mommy," over and over. Everyone totally ignored her, they moved her out of the way so Lucy and I could check out the playground. "It is her first week," they explained. That sealed the deal, I just couldn't do it. She was fifteen months and would have been fine, but again I just couldn't.

As the next year passed I got pregnant and we got ready for Josh. Lucy and I explored the world. We went to the library, took music classes, staked our claim on the playground. She was up for adventures and learning. As a toddler she was not content to sit at home. She liked being out and being busy. After her second birthday she seemed ready to explore the world without me. After we made it through the blur of a summer with an infant and a toddler, I signed her up for a drop-off playgroup at the YMCA one day a week for two hours. I told her she was going to "school" and she was excited. I explained that Mommy wasn't allowed to stay. She mulled it over and would one second be fine with the idea and then the next tell me I had to stay because it was the law.

Today we geared up and I walked her to her classroom. Lucy walked in, saw the little plastic indoor slide and started playing. I actually had to call her name several times to say goodbye. I guess she was fine with me leaving. I dropped Josh off at the babysitting and actually worked out. I listened to grown up music really loud. I had two hours free of worrying about what would set off the next meltdown or naughty business. When the time came I picked up Josh who was happily drooling on one of the babysitters and then stood outside of Lucy's classroom and watched my little girl without her knowing. She was busy bringing things to and from the teacher. She made a Play Doh concoction in the play kitchen and went down the slide. She had a big smile on and her happy spring in her step. The woman running the playgroup said she did fine. There was another boy there who looked like he had probably cried the entire time. He looked so sad. That is what I had prepared for.

Once again I underestimated my Lucy. Now I am seeing that it is time for me to let go as much as she has. I have to trust in others if I want Lucy's world to get a little bigger. I don't regret my decision to stay home. It was a big adjustment for me, must bigger than I had ever anticipated. Literally one day my life was my own and then all of a sudden my life was Lucy. For every parent it is different. Some people choose to go to work because they want to. Some people go to work when have have a child because they have to. Some people stay home. To each his own, I feel very fortunate that I am able to stay home - even if it means waiting a few more years to buy a house.

Now with Josh I'm trying to keep my perspective and let go more than I did with Lucy. I need to find a balance between caring for and smothering my children. Next year Lucy will start pre-school a few days a week and she'll grow even more. It is such a god-awful cliche, but I really do wonder what the future has in store for her.

My Brother Bob

When I was pregnant Lucy watched my belly grow and grow and grow....I mean really grow, I was HUGE! We told her there was a baby inside and she seemed to really understand. Well, as much as an almost two-year-old can understand. She'd hug my belly, give my belly big kisses and we'd talk about what babies did. I told her that babies cried a lot. We asked her what we'd name the baby and she thought for a second and then said, "Bob." Ahhhh yes, Bob, as in Bob the Builder the TV show.

Eventually we told her that her baby brother was going to be named Josh. She preferred Bob. When people would ask the name, she'd tell them Bob and we'd explain who she wanted to name baby brother after and everyone would laugh. Since we had found out that the guy was a guy Michael and I had decided to keep mum on the name. At least there would be a little element of surprise. Every now and then Lucy would leak the real name, but nobody could understand what she was saying so we were in the clear. I thought and worried a great deal about how Lucy would handle the reality of a new baby brother. I tried to prep her as much as I could. I was in knots about leaving Lucy while I was in the hospital. As the time came closer I worried more and then eventually the night before I was induced I put Lucy to bed and sang her lullabies with tears streaming down my face. Her world was totally going to be rocked and she had no idea. I was scared. Labor and birth would be easy, folding the new guy into the life of Lucy is what I was worried about.

So the day arrived, at 6:00 a.m. over bagels and Lucky Charms we told Lucy that I was going to the doctor and the doctor was going to take baby brother out of my tummy. Lucy looked right at me and then grunted as she pretended to pull baby Bob out of my stomach. I knew we'd be okay.

Josh's birth was like having a spa pedicure compared to my labor with Lucy. Despite the fact that he weighed in at nine and a half pounds I was able to really enjoy his coming into the world. Man oh man that epidural really is a medical miracle. We welcomed the little guy into the world and by evening Michael was able to get home in time to read Lucy her bedtime story and put her to bed. When she came into the hospital to visit I thought she'd be all about Mom, but I was wrong. She was so into baby brother, looking at him and gently tickling saying, "tickle, tickle" in a high-pitched baby friendly voice. It was like that old Life Cereal commercial, "she likes it, she likes it!"

The first month or so was tough. For a bit Josh liked to cry whenever he was awake and I had flashbacks to Lucy's colicky days and was terrified. But eventually he settled down and now at three and a half months is a pretty happy-go-lucky guy. He hangs with the girls, goes to the playground and watches his sister with complete adoration. Lucy for the most part has gotten used to having him around and likes it when I tell her he smiled at her or is talking to her when he is cooing. She likes to touch his soft hair and sit next to him on the couch. They flop around together in his or her crib after waking up from a nap. It is really just amazing to see the connection forming already between them. She has many nicknames for him. Sometimes he's "the guy," and other times Josh is "my buddy." She really loves him and it is amazing to see her with him. Now I'm not going to pretend there are not moments of her being less than nice to baby brother, but for the most part those moments are short-lived and she usually self-destructs and bursts into tears on her own when she is not nice to Josh. She loves hims and peppers him with random kisses and it is just the sweetest thing.

I forsee a future with Josh attending many tea parties and most likely getting make up slathered all over him by his big sister. The other day at the playground I saw a big sister and her little brother playing. The little girl had a pretend blow dryer and was giving baby brother a blowout and he sat happily letting her have at it just seeming to enjoy the fact that she was playing with him. I saw a little glimpse into Josh and Lucy's future and smiled to myself.

Scary zoo signage

I guess they don't really sugar coat it at the zoo!

Family Fun Day

This past weekend was the unofficial end of summer. This year I honestly can't say that I'm that sad. Summer with a newborn is kind of a tease. You can't really go to the beach, babies and toddlers get really cranky in the heat and pools and spray parks are out because you can't keep your eye on the toddler without leaving the baby. So, most of our big outings this year have been all together as a family. With two parents and two kids we divide and conquer. Our most recent outing was to The Southwick zoo in Mendon, Massachusetts.

Lucy had lots of fun looking at all the animals. The zoo was great, it was very manageable - they had a lot of animals and you could get close enough to actually see them. We saw camels, monkeys, turtles, rhinos - so many animals. The lion and the tiger were sleeping, so Lucy dutifully yelled at them to wake up but only the lion stirred briefly and then relocated to a new napping spot. We looked at the snakes and she did not like them - just like her mom. I am doing my best not to have Lucy inherit my neurosis as her own, so I pretended that I thought the snakes were neat and tried no to hurl when I saw the gigantic python slithering in the giant snake tank. But alas, she seems to just not like them on her own accord. Maybe she will also not rest easily in a bed that has sheets that are not tucked tight and neat.......Anyway, back to the zoo. Josh had fun, he is as usual mostly along for the Lucy ride. Now he likes facing out in the baby bjorn. He can check everything out and be part of the action. One of Lucy's favorite parts of the zoo other than getting ice cream was the bear ride. They had a little amusement park-like section which had pony rides and little honky-tonk carnival rides. She rode the flying bear ride all by herself and looked so grown up. She was mostly all business steering her bear and then eventually relaxed a little and tried to wave at us as she flew by in her big pink bear. It was so sweet to see her humoring us with her little waves. When she got off the ride we all had a big "family hug" and she said, "I love you family," and I fell in love with my little girl just a little bit more.

Okay, on another note, the zoo in general has a lot of things to generally throw gasoline on the fires of the neurotic mom. First, when we were going into the zoo there were signs that it was bee season and to beware. Well when we sat down to eat lunch bees were swarming. I was flailing my arms about like a windmill and Michael kept telling me to ignore them, but it was tough when they were trying to climb into Lucy's drink box. Okay, I survived lunch without needing to be medicated but then Lucy went into the petting zoo. Forget it. Goats everywhere. Thankfully Lucy gingerly touched a couple baby goats but that was all and then we had a "magic soap" purell party. And then there is the public bathroom element of having a two year old potty trained. There is a whole lot of mommy saying, "don't touch anything....I mean anything Lucy."

Other than the bees and the scary signs the zoo was great. Lucy had fun, ate ice cream and made friends with the animals. Josh had fun because Lucy wasn't poking him in the face and licking his head. Michael and I had fun because our kids were having fun and all-in-all family fun day rocked!