That Mom...

I don't know when it happened, hard to pinpoint the exact moment. Somewhere between being hellbent on an epidural-free birth and against my newborn using a pacifier I have found myself with a two-year-old that regularly wears pajamas to the playground and a four-year-old that still uses her beloved binkie. Before I had kids I vowed to never be "That Mom". Now it is the little things that I give into or let slide that have taught me the most about the important things about parenting. I have become "That Mom".

I am that Mom that allows her kids to get ice cream from the ice cream man when he comes to the playground at 4:30 in the afternoon.

I am that Mom who slept on the floor holding my daughter's hand through the slats of the crib until she fell asleep - for months.

I am that Mom that will bust out the "teacher voice" to yell at older kids at the playground if they are swearing or acting inappropriately. I might even tell them if they continue to swear in front of my kids I will have them arrested just to scare the shit out of them.

I am that Mom that allows her two-year-old to eat lollipops and her four-year-old chew gum.

I am that Mom that sometimes wishes I worked.

I am that Mom that believes the outfit my daughter chose and dressed herself is beautiful because she thinks it is - even if it is leggings, frilly socks and a too-small t-shirt that are totally unmatched.

I am the Mom that lets kids have a good old run around in their birthday suits even if it means the rugs get peed on occasionally.

I am the Mom that allows her daughter to believe that she comes from a long line of mermaids.

I am that Mom that buys the gaudiest, tackiest character themed clothing for my children - because it makes them so happy.

I am that Mom that goes to McDonald's drive-thru to feed the kids fries as I drive so I do not lose the nap to the car ride.

Sometimes I am "That Mom" that gets glared at by other Moms as my kids stand around eating their ice cream right before dinner in their neon officially licensed sleepwear. No, my kids don't chew gum everyday or eat McDonalds french fries whenever we are in the car. I indulge my children probably more than I should. In the end the excitement of standing in front of the vivid pictures of ice cream novelties and weighing the options of a Spidermand vs. a Bomb Pop is not going to last forever - so yes I indulge because right now a little goes a long way and I want to relish in that.

Although sometimes I am the Mom staring. I admit, it is difficult not to judge sometimes. What I have learned is that I find myself still gawking, but more out of understanding and sisterhood with other Moms. We have all been "That Mom" at one time or another. If you haven't then you are "That Mom" that thinks she is better than everyone else and you can suck it.

Goodbye to the Era of Wee Wee

Writing reminds me of exercising. The longer you wait between workouts, the harder it is to get motivated. I can't even believe how many funny things have transpired since my last entry. Winter has come and gone, Lucy's first year of preschool is almost over and birthdays whizzed by in the blur that has become May. Josh is now two years old, he has an official "boy" haircut and is talking up a storm. Lucy is four and watching the world around her with a new wonder and excitement. Josh and Lucy are playing together now more than ever. Josh worships Lucy and she revels in his adoration. Josh has an inherent sense of silly that I witnessed when he was just a teeny little infant in his baby bucket. I will never forget the day I saw Josh's capacity for just plain silliness.

One morning when Josh was probably no more than three months old I took the kids to the library. I was tired, short-tempered and doing my best to meet the needs of an infant and a two-year-old. We had stopped at the cafe at the library for a snack and as I was cutting a bagel and opening a straw with one hand for Lucy while at the same time absent mindedly waving a rattle with a bell in Josh's face. I really was hardly aware of my actions beyond pure motor function - cutting, waving - all physical acts of my appendages meant for the least amount of meltdowns in a confined area. Before I knew it, I heard huge, jolly giggles coming from my little guy. Josh was cracking up at the rattle like it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. I've seen babies coo and smile at baby toys before but I had never seen such a guttural reaction from such a small baby. It was at that moment I knew that my little Joshua was going to have a great capacity for silly. It stands true today at two years old, Josh is a yuck-it up, belly-laughing silly little boy, and the one whom elicits the most shoulder-shaking, belly giggles is Lucy. Lucy will just be going about the business of being a nudge when something will strike Josh as silly. This could be anything from a purposeful attempt to make Josh laugh to putting her fork on her dinner plate in a way that Josh thinks it is the funniest thing he has ever seen. In these instances, big sister is more than happy to indulge her little brother's laughter and repeat the action until Josh's belly is roaring with laughter.

It seems like just yesterday Lucy and her little school friends would sit on the swings, legs dangling innocently pleading for a push. Lucy can get onto the swings now, start herself swinging and pump as high as the sky. She is a fully self-sufficient swinger now. It is awesome. Now Lucy is now four and peppers her sentences with words like germinate and gravity. My little girl is like a sponge just absorbing the world around her. She is curious and the things that pique her interest always fascinate me. The other night she was obsessed with poison ivy and I told her the saying, "leaves of three - let them be." She talked about poison ivy and hounded me with questions for hours on end. I lulled my little sweetie to sleep that night with soothing stories about Michael getting poison ivy so badly his face swelled up and about the time I was little and got bad poison ivy retrieving a frisbee deep in the woods. I am almost certain I have never had a more captive audience hanging on my every word. Lucy is endlessly patient with Josh throughout his several month stint of temper tantrums the likes of which I have only witnessed a couple of times before Josh. She does her best to calm Josh down, using a motherly voice telling him, "it's okay little buddy," and scampering off to find his wubbys. As for the temperament of a four-year-old girl, well I am finding that they cry quite a bit - almost as much as seventh grade girls. Tears emerge out of thin air and my little girl is a thunderstorm of emotion that no words can tame. In these instances I have come to rely on my, "and don't forget - no smiling, no laughing is allowed because you are mad." This usually gets the smirk that tells me we can salvage the situation. Other times my attempts at humorous distraction just piss her off more.

In an attempt to catch up on some of the funniest of the little Svirsky's quips - I'll do the down and dirty and just list some of the prime quotes so they are not forgotten forever in the blur that is the beauty of parenting.

- Josh couldn't say Lucy for a long time, so probably at the beginning of winter Lucy became Wee Wee. He'd call after her, "Wee Wee" with a desperation in his voice as he'd struggle to catch up with his big sister.

- One morning Lucy looked at me all sleepy and content as I brought her a morning milk, "you know Mom you kind of work for me," she said. Yep, sure do I guess.

- For a while when I would tuck Lucy and Josh in for their naps (which they both still take - praise (insert your God/Goddess here) they would yell back and forth from each other's rooms, "I love you Wee Wee" and "I love you Josh." This would repeat at an alarming volume for up to ten minutes. It was a loud and very sweet proclamation of their love.

- Lucy was eating her tacos the other night, which have become a favorite and she looked at me with the most serious face and said, referring to her taco, "this is really working out great for me Mom."

- Now when Josh wants a bottle he politely asks for, "fresh bubba please." Yes, he is still on the bottle - I think I am not yet ready to let go of seeing my baby as a baby. Please don't tell my pediatrician.

- At the playground Lucy was pushing Josh in the baby swing and being goofy and making him do the big belly laughs. He was laughing so hard he could barely talk, but he was doing his best to point at himself and say, "Lucy crack up me." It was one of those times when you say to yourself as a parent, this is why the madness is worth it.

I'm sure there are so many more things that I will remember, and hopefully go back to include in my blog. For now I can already tell that the magic pixie dust that is sprinkled among parents to remember mostly the things that make us smile and laugh is working. The winter was long, there were many tantrums. I remember one tantrum of Josh's that literally lasted thirty minutes. He cried, yelled, pulled baskets of toys onto himself and crawled headfirst into walls and radiators because he was so mad. The reason, I would not allow him to throw his entire bowl of snack across the room. There were many days that I gave into outrageous demands just to head-off a tantrum episode. He wore pajamas - a lot. In the end it was a phase that seems to be tapering off. I recall one visit to the pediatrician asking him to define how long a "phase" is just getting that knowing smile that told me someday this won't seem bad. I don't even remember where I heard this first, but it is so true: The days can be long, but the years fly. That's how I feel right now and I am doing my best to be present and positive and relish in the fact that I am fortunate enough to be right here, right now.

Happy Birthday Lucy and Joshua.

Nice Try Santa

Christmas has come and gone in a flash. It always seems that the preparation and anticipation leading up to the holidays builds to almost epic proportions that are difficult to live up to. This year I was a bit more on top of my game, I took full advantage of online shopping and free shipping. I lied through my teeth as packages showed up at our door, "just boring books for Daddy," was my standard explanation. I got a Barbie radio for Lucy before November had ended and felt like I was bringing my A-game to Christmas this year. I wrapped in advance to prevent the stressful, late-night wrapping session fueled by wine and chex mix. I think I was probably more excited than Lucy and Josh.

Lucy was excited about Santa coming and bringing her presents. She remembered everything from last year and was adamant that she deserved a Barbie radio. Michael and I (more Michael than me) liberally used, "Santa is watching," as a means of discipline and Lucy did her best to behave - most of the time. She wore her fancy Christmas dress whenever she could, getting maximum mileage out of red, plaid taffeta and velvet jacket. Josh learned to say, "ho, ho, ho," and didn't protest too much when we plopped him on Santa's lap with his big sister.

We filled our house with Christmas cheer, baked cookies and picked out beautiful, and obscenely overpriced tree. Lucy loved having the Christmas tree and Josh took every ornament off of the lower perimeter, until eventually the tree was dense with ornaments for the top-third, then totally bare on the bottom. On Christmas Eve we went to the park in Nonantum and looked at the lights, drove the sleigh with the weird fake reindeer and mailed our letter to Santa. This is our Christmas tradition now and it is fun to see how things change from year to year. Josh is not a big fan of the snow and his strong will and big lungs make sure you know when he is unhappy with the scene. Christmas Eve night we left cookies out for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and Lucy and Josh went to sleep in their cute little matching jammies, dreaming of Santa and presents. Then Lucy woke up at 4:30a.m.

After coaxing her into the big bed with us, she held out until about 6:00. Then she waited until Josh woke up around 6:30 and then all hell broke loose, but she had been a very patient three and a half year old. She opened the Barbie radio and it was so great to see my little girls face lit up with the magic of Christmas and the unconditional belief in Santa. Josh was confused at first, then was right on board with ripping and tearing - having as much fun opening the presents as playing with them.

After it was over we were buried in toys and listening to the Barbie Diamond Castle soundtrack over and over for hours on end. Josh vroomed his way around all of his new toys and Michael cut, unscrewed, powered-up and put everything together in a furious pace as the kids breathed down his neck. All the planning, deliberating between a Mustang Road Ripper for Josh or a Hummer and the actual morning went by faster then I could have imagined. It was fast, furious and wonderful.

As Christmas passed we celebrated with our families and Lucy and Josh were deluged with more wonderful and thoughtful presents. They were in awe of their older cousins playing video games and Rock Band, with Lucy sitting in on drums of playing guitar whenever she got a chance. Josh ate right at the table with all the big kids, laughing when everyone else laughed - without any clue what he was laughing at. Every now and then Lucy would start a pout because, "she didn't get anything cool for Christmas," because she didn't have a video game. This is what I fear. The magic goes away and is replaced with the materialism of Christmas. How do you combat that as a parent, I haven't figured that out quite yet, but I know it is something that I will have to think about carefully before next years ho ho holidays.

Christmas is awesome. I love seeing it though Josh and Lucy's eyes. It is just organic belief in good and magic that the world needs a little more of these days. A couple of weeks after Christmas Lucy was taking a bath and using some of her new Lightening McQueen foamy soap and shampoo that Santa left for her. She took a big whiff of the shampoo and let out an unadulteradted, "Yuck," because it smelled gross. However, quickly realizing that maybe that was not the most polite reaction, she looked at the ceiling and into the sky and smiled broadly, put her thumb up and said, "Nice try Santa." That's my girl.