Okay, there are a few things that I have learned that were not quite covered in parenting books and I figured that just for kicks I would share them. Some of the things seem like common sense, but you have to consider that most days of parenting and motherhood offer many "christened by fire" learning experiences that you couldn't quite predict until you were knee deep in the moment....
- It is not a good idea to allow your toddler to play her recorder in the car on the way home from the baby store where you bought a sling because her newborn brother didn't want to be put down and you were feeling guilty that he was taking all the attention so you bought your toddler a recorder.
- Allowing a two-and-a-half year old to continue the finger painting project you began together while you put the baby to sleep is not a good idea.
- Nemo on Ice sounds is a great idea if you like spending $10 for a snowcone in a plastic Nemo cup, $10 for cotton candy that comes with a neon orange Nemo hat that you must now regularly wear. Nemo on Ice is a good idea if your child likes big, giant, scary skating sharks and creepy, pale skeleton fish and you like to leave events at intermission.
- Being up close in the second row of a show is great except if it is Nemo on ice.
- You will eat things scraps of things that your children discard because you are in the middle of taming the toddler madness, or you are somewhere where these is no place else to discard the food item in question. Like grocery shopping when your toddler demands a piece of ham and she gets it and it is too thick and gross for her, and there is nowhere to put it - or time to find a trash because you just waited 30 minutes for it to be your turn at the deli counter - so you eat the rest of it so it will be gone, even if it makes your stomach turn.
- Lollipops have magic powers and M&M's are a gateway candy.
- There will be times when you turn on the TV at the end of the day and watch it blankly for an extended period of time before you realize that you are watching a kid show. Or in turn, you will be in the car alone and find yourself signing along to the kid music that is still playing.
- Children like to listen to the same song over and over so it is good if you can make that song something you like every now and then. But be cautioned that sometimes this can backfire, like when you get your toddler stuck on Gwen Stefani's "Wind it Up" which she calls "Hey Ya, Hey Ya" and then you look at US Weekly together while she sits on the potty for hours looking for pictures of Hey Ya, Hey Ya Gwen.
- You will tell so many stories that you will scrape the bottom of the barrel at times for content. Like telling a story about Swiper the Fox stealing macaroni salad. That was pretty close to rock bottom of the story telling.
- You will lie to your pediatrician. It may be about a pacifier, how many vegetables you kid eats or something else, but at some point you will omit certain things or avoid certain subjects.
I could go on and on, but I won't. At some point you start to go with your gut and do what you have to do to try to keep everyone happy. Lucy has eaten lollipops, drank juice, had a breakfast that consisted of nothing more than a cookie and a slice of ham. Josh likes to snuggle in his crib with his lovey over his eyes and his feet sticking out of the crib slats. Is this how I pictured life as a Mom, no. My kids were going to be champion breastfeeders, never drink juice and watch five minutes of television per week. I was a much stricter parent before I ever had kids.
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